What words describe you?

Hero, warrior, asthmatic, advocate, inspiration, strong are just some of the words I have had people refer to me as recently. While I really appreciate them and am flattered I feel uncomfortable hearing them.

Some adjectives I can learn to adapt to such as advocate but others not so much.

The word health advocate a year ago is something I would never have applied to myself and a term I did not feel comfortable with. Over the last year I have got used to and embrace the term health advocate and will embrace it for years to come as that is what I am and I want to be the best advocate I can be not just for myself, or my condition but for all those with health conditions.

I think the reason I find some of the words so hard to accept is because I don’t want to be thought of as that. I have a chronic health condition that means I have to fight each day. If I didnt then I would be sitting at home doing nothing and that is not in my DNA, but also what life would that be.

Im also lucky this has been my life for so long that actually I cant remember what it feels like to feel well, every day I rely on a cocktail of medications but even that is not enough to make me feel “normal person” well.

I share my story about the ups and downs of living with chronic ill health to try and get more awareness about the disease itself, so others living with the condition know they are not alone and then also to show the real life struggle so that policy may change or new drugs might be developed so no one will have to go through the tough times that I have in the future.

When dealing with a condition that you don’t know when it is going to hit and take you out with an attack you need to make sure you are strong and not just physically but mentally as well. Getting through an asthma attack is as much about physical strength as it is mental strength. This mental strength which I put down to the way I have been raised but also my sporting background has allowed me to not only push through attacks but also push myself so that I get up each day and do something productive no matter how small it is as long as I have achieved something in the day I don’t care.

I am really flattered by some of the words people have associated with me and the way I have dealt with living with ill health. I don’t want to come across as rude or ungrateful as I know everyone is sincere and means it but recently I find it even harder to sink in as a condition I have always been able to beat is finally beating me and dictating my life more than it ever has before so to hear these words are more difficult.

Once I get back on my feet and know what is going on with my life then I will maybe be more accepting of the terms people use to describe the way I face situations.

Getting medication on time.

I am not actually sure what title to give this post.

I was recently in a consultation type meeting with a range of service users to discuss the nursing program at one of the universities in Edinburgh. They are being revalidated and want to make sure that the course is producing the best possible nurses it can who are fully prepared for life as a staff nurse.

One thing that came up that has been preying on my mind and the more I think about it the more it bothers me. As the group was made up of a range of people age, gender, background, reason for being at the consultation. There were a few people there representing Parkinson’s- either as someone with Parkinson’s, a carer or someone who works for Parkinsons UK.

The issue of medication came up in conversation and it felt like some had a bit of an agenda as they kept going on about how people with Parkinson’s when in hospital must get their medications the right time otherwise their can be negative effects if it is late. This was a statement that was repeated many times stating that the medication often had to be given out with normal drug rounds.

It felt like to me that those with Parkinson’s,their medication was more important than other patients who need medication. I take medication which is prolonged release and has to be taken at specific times which are out with normal drug rounds and must be taken otherwise blood levels drop and this can have a detrimental effect on my breathing and could cause an attack which may or may not end up needing intensive care.

What bothered me so much is that there was no regard for other people and their conditions and the medication that they are on. I know from experience of doing drug rounds it is very difficult to juggle everything but we do our best. Every patient is just as important as the next and every patients medication is just as important to them as all the other patients. If a patient was able I would ask them to remind me to come and give them their medication if it was out with a drug round or if able I would let them self medicate so they would get their medication when it was due. This can not always be done so we as nurses need to remember and we do try. I was thinking as a nurse if I went into a bay of patients and only did one patients drugs and told the others they would get theirs done in time but this patient needed their now. It would make me feel like I was selecting this patient and treating them differently to the others.

What I am trying to get across is that every patient is just as important as the next and everyones medication is just as important to them as the next persons. There are many medications which like the medication for Parkinson’s needs to be given at set times otherwise there is detrimental effects. I really felt like there was no regard for other people and their condition. Parkinsons is an awful condition and I have a good friend who has had Parkinson’s since the age of 8 but getting medication on time is just as important for us as well.

Im not sure if I am saying thins properly and if its making sense but everyone is just as important and medication  being on time is no more important for someone with Parkinson’s than someone with diabetes or asthma for example.

As a patient I advocate for myself. I ask the nurses if I can self medicate that way I remove the anxiety that can develop if I am not able to get medication when I need it. For example if my chest is very wheezy I am able to put a nebuliser on and then let the nurses know, or if my prolonged release theophylline is due I ask the nurses for it or if they are doing a drug round ahead of time I ask if they can leave it out so I can take it when it was time. Nurses try their best and do what they can but we as patients need to advocate for ourselves to make sure we get what we need when we need it but doing it in a way that is not being disruptive and demanding.

I hope I have not come across as disregarding people with Parkinson’s and the importance of their medication as I know it is important but other medications for people are just as important. I always worry when I attend these type of consultations when there is a few who seem to have an agenda or dominate conversation.

I am going to leave this now but would appreciate others thoughts on this post as it has had me thinking a lot.

SoulKraft Wellbeing Radio Show 10.07.19

Last night I had a totally new experience. I was a guest on a radio show. I have done radio interviews before but they have never been in a radio studio with the headphones etc on so this was all a bit new and exciting! To listen to the show follow this link

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SoulKraft Wellbeing Radio Show is a weekly show hosted by Lauren on Stirling City Radio. I was put in touch with Lauren via a mutual friend but we were also at the same school. Lauren’s radio show focuses on mental wellbeing and has a sub topic each week focusing in on part of mental wellbeing such as creativity. You can read more about Lauren, her blog and radio show here.

To say I was a bit nervous would be an under statement because I have never been the best with words when speaking about my own health. I can write it and I can speak about the surrounding topics such as asthma research, new asthma medications when giving presentations but the last few times when I have spoken about myself and how my asthma has impacted me I have ended up in tears in front of a whole load of people, so I was hoping I was not going to do that while on the radio. I have also never spoken about my view on mental and physical health. I have written about how a physical health condition has impacted my mental health but never really spoken about it and also not spoken about how I view health as a whole.

It was great to be able to speak to someone who has had such similar views on health but they come from a predominantly mental health condition where my initial diagnosis was a physical which has impacted on my mental health.

Reflecting back and listening to the show has been really cathartic and in a way given me a new lease on life and advocacy. It has made me realise that health is just health wether it is physical or mental. Part of me really feels that all this attention being given to mental health may just be stigmatising it even more now. There is a lot of press given to mental health because it is chronically underfunded but why is it. Mental health conditions just like physical health conditions sometimes cannot be prevented and sometimes can be prevented, all conditions can be treated with pharma input or using other approaches there is no real difference (I get that this is being very generalistic but when you get to the nitty gritty of all conditions they are complex and hard to manage.

I want to try and spend some time promoting the impact that living with a chronic (sorry Lauren) health condition can do to you holistically. I say holistically because that focuses on the whole person not just the one organ or organs that the condition effects.

Thank you again Lauren! If you want to listen to the radio show