Corona Virus what does it mean for severe asthma?

Corona virus, COVID-19 or as I like to refer to it as “the virus” is the hot topic just now and rightly so especially as the World Health Organisation has just declared it to be a pandemic.

I have not posted anything on facebook, instagram, twitter or my blog about the virus because everywhere is saturated and there is a lot of different information about what to do and what is best. The only thing that is consistent is that hand washing is essential and that for the hand washing to be effective it must be 20 seconds minimum. There has been some fantastic stuff developed around songs that you can sing while washing your hands. This is a favourite: Bohemian Rhapsody (it is only half a routine so DO NOT use this to wash your hands)

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What does the virus mean for someone like me?

It is a very serious situation. The effect for me could be devastating. A basic chest infection is horrific and puts me in intensive care and that is a condition that has a treatment. This is a new virus that has no vaccine and no treatment. Should you get the virus the medics can support you and support the area of your body that is failing but otherwise you just have to fight it yourself. When you already fight each day to try and stay well this is an added extra that your body really does not need.

There are mixed messages going about for people with respiratory conditions. The issue with asthma is that it is so varied. For someone with mild controlled asthma the virus might not be that big an issue but I am immunocompromised due to long term oral steroids at fairly high doses and I pick up everything.

To be honest I am terrified. The last hospital admission was really hard and the recovery has been super hard. I have had to invest so much time and energy to get myself back on my feet and the thought of potentially having to do this again put the fear in me let alone to do that recovery plus having COVID-19 on top of it.

What steps am I taking to try and keep myself well?

I am just trying to be sensible but have taken a range of measures to try and protect myself apart from hand washing etc.

  • Withdrawn from speaking events including EyeforPharma in Barcelona, Asthma UK Centre for Applied Research Annual Scientific Meeting and various others. Both of which I am gutted about as was really looking forward to them.
  • Withdrawn from giving a lecture to nursing students at Edin Uni on Professionalism
  • Stopping coaching lacrosse in school
  • Have not been accepting invitation to attend events that are hospital based and any events that has been scheduled I have asked to call in remotely if possible especially if there is a large number of people attending
  • I have done all my shopping and meal prep so I don’t need to go to any supermarkets. i won’t have fresh fruit and veg but I have frozen fruit and veg so won’t miss out totally.
  • Finally the biggest one for me is that I am taking myself out of the city for a few weeks or for as long as needed. I am heading up north to my parents place which is in a small village away from any cities and in the countryside. This will minimise my contact with people and hopefully minimise my risk of catching the virus. I am concerned about getting ill when up north but it is safer to be away than staying in the city.

Its tough to know what to do for the best. With advice changing on a daily if not hourly basis everyone is in a state of flux constantly. We seem to have gone from panic buying toilet roll to panic buying everything that you would keep in a store cupboard.

One other thing I have been very conscious of and I have not mentioned is being in touch with your care team. I am taking the advice primarily from my respiratory consultant but then also my asthma nurse and GP as well. I need to consider what they suggest and listen to what they say over the next coming months more so than ever.

For anyone else who is in a situation with their health like I am I know it is a really difficult time. I am fortunate that I don’t have work to juggle as well as that would just be a whole new ball game. I think if I did still have a job I would be speaking to my managers and explaining my situation. On the whole from others who I have spoken to who have health conditions and work their bosses have been pretty accommodating and supportive. Oddly the thing I have been hearing most is that they wish their bosses or workmates would stop going on about how they have to be careful and or how they need to be aware of the news etc because of their situations and being immunocompromised etc. Many know they are just doing it because they care but even Ia have been getting irritated with people telling me to watch out and I don’t work just now and don’t see a huge number of people right now!!

For now we just need to keep up to date with the NHS advice and hope that things do not escalate.

I will continue to prepare for the worst and hope for the best as much as you can with an unknown situation.

Is severe asthma different to asthma?

In my last blog post I mentioned how I met some other people with severe asthma at a BLF-AUK event where we had a conversation about asthma and severe asthma.

It may have the same mechanisms in that it is a condition where the airways become inflamed and irritated causing difficulty breathing but here ends the similarities. The way it displays itself is different. The way it is managed is different. The way it impacts your life is different. There are too many differences to name them all so this is why we came to the conclusion that it needs a different name.

When someone hears  severe asthma they think its that common everyday condition that every second person has. The part they have not heard is the “severe” that went in front of the asthma which makes it very different, but because asthma is so common people are very relaxed so don’t take it too seriously or act urgently when dealing with it. This leads us to become so frustrated. I can think of so many times where I could potentially have not needed to go to ICU if the Dr I saw at the front door when arriving in A&E took my severe asthma for what it is and not treat it just like asthma.

One of the challenges that people with the condition severe asthma face is that so many in the medical profession refer to those with asthma that is not in control as having severe asthma or brittle asthma when they actually don’t. There are so many terms floating around to describe asthma that is not controlled for example

  • brittle asthma
  • severe asthma
  • difficult severe asthma
  • difficult asthma
  • severe brittle asthma

That is just a few. The issue arises is that some of these terms are used incorrectly and we have GP’s or nurses in the GP surgery telling someone with asthma that is not in control that they have brittle asthma when they don’t. They just don’t have their asthma in control at that moment and need some medication tweaks.

The types of asthma such as brittle asthma can only be diagnosed by a specialist asthma consultant at a specialist hospital. Not even asthma consultant at local hospitals can diagnose it as there is a raft of specialist testing and multi disciplinary input to ensure that everything is ruled out before you are diagnosed with this very rare type of asthma like severe asthma or type 1 or type 2 brittle asthma.

This is why I and others have been thinking that perhaps these extremely rare forms of asthma need a different name that perhaps does not even have the term asthma in its name to save us as patients from not being treated correctly. Maybe just then we won’t suffer so much when in hospital.

Another big issue for some with severe asthma is that we can look ok one minute and the next we are fighting for our life or we look ok but actually we are working incredibly hard to breathe but don’t want people to know. You cant see severe asthma unless you are having an attack which makes it so hard for people to understand just how debilitating it can be. How every aspect of your life is dictated by your condition, that even taking every medication that is there for asthma it is still not enough to give you a quality of life. It is hard to think that despite taking 30 different medications each day I still don’t have control of my health or my breathing to where I would like it.

I wish my lung condition could be covered by the term asthma but severe asthma is far more complex to manage, treat, control, and understand. No 2 people with severe asthma are the same which makes the condition so much more complex to diagnose and manage. This often leads to very frustrated patients and frustrated healthcare practitioners because despite everyones best efforts life is not good, hospital admissions are just part of life, even ICU becomes part of life which should never be the case.

This is why I think severe asthma needs to be totally separated from asthma and doing this could be achieved by changing its name to stop people from being complacent when treating you in an emergency situation.

I hate living with severe asthma and hate that it is so poorly understood. Maybe one day there will be a huge break through and suddenly all of us whose life is dictated by their severe asthma is no longer like that. Until then I will continue to try and raise awareness of what it is like and just how serious a condition it is.

Severe asthma- family and friends misconceptions.

I was asked to write this blog post by Asthma UK as their report about severe and difficult asthma has just been published and the statistics are shocking. Asthma is not taken seriously or respected, some people don’t take their medication as they are meant to for a variety of reasons but this can be fatal. Those with asthma and those who know people with asthma need to understand just how serious it can be.

I consider myself very up to date with the latest asthma treatments, ensure I taken my medication as I am meant to and when I am meant to. I ensure I step up and step down my medication as my symptoms ebb and flow according to my personal asthma action plan. Even with my diligence to treatment and keeping myself well it is sometimes no where near enough and asthma wins over you, leaving devastating consequences such as death, the need for life support machine, very toxic drugs to relax the smooth muscle int he airways.

I have lived with asthma almost all my life. Over the years it has progressively become more difficult to control and severe which has impacted my own life and also my families lives as well.

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To manage my asthma I am in the very fortunate to have a team of specialists at the hospital who work hard to ensure I am on the best medication and most appropriate treatment aiming to control my severe asthma as best as possible. Despite this support and regular contact with the team my asthma remains severe to the extent I was put in a medically induced coma and was on a life support machine just under a month ago. I am sure if I did not have the team of specialists then there is a high chance my life would be very different if I was to have a life at all.

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Having severe asthma has resulted in many life changing circumstances from the sheer number of medications I require to control my severe asthma but then also medications to treat or prevent the side effects caused by the medication required to help my breathing. I currently take a total of 37 different medications, 14 of them are for asthma and 23 are for the side effects mainly caused by years of oral corticosteroids. I have also had to give up playing sport, change my career and now have had to give up my career, but the biggest impact has been on my family and close friends.

Living with severe asthma most of my life also means my friends and family have also lived with it too. They see how I try to manage my condition day to day, witness asthma attacks, call 999 for me when I don’t have the puff to call them myself, watch as helpless onlookers while an ambulance, with lights flashing and siren going, takes me to hospital as quickly as possible to stabilise the attack and make my breathing easier and then finally visiting me either in hospital or once I am discharged home. They see all this as well as my determination to manage my asthma desperately trying to ensure it does not take over and dictate my life. Despite witnessing all the above they accepted that this is what my asthma is like and that is that. An assumption was made that my asthma is as bad as it would get and my breathing wouldn’t get any worse than they have all witnessed. They thought this because I am under the care of a specialist asthma team who I can phone for advice whenever I am struggling which in my family and friend’s eyes means my asthma cannot get so bad that I may have a near fatal asthma attack.

My brother commented that he had become used to my asthma and almost complacent about how bad it could be. He said he has heard me speak recently of others who have died from asthma or friends who have been in a very serious condition but because I now have such a specialist team then I would be ok. It was everyday life me having severe asthma with the potential for requiring hospitalisation. He had taken this as normal and accepted it. So events earlier in the month were a huge shock and wake up call for the whole family because they had assumed I was safe with my asthma because I have some of the best people in the country looking after me and my asthma.

I look back now and see how my family normalised me being in hospital and me going to ICU so often which is really shocking. Going to hospital often should not occur let alone going to HDU or ICU that often. In any other health situation or if this was one of my siblings then it would not be just run of the mill and would be a life-altering event for the entire family.

My best friend who has known me my entire life and has been through thick and thin with me, seen me have asthma attacks and visited me in hospital never thought asthma could get as serious as it did during my last admission because I was under the care of specialists. She could not understand how asthma could get so bad when you are taking the latest medication that is available and have access to a team of specialists. She said she had never seen me look so unwell and vulnerable, not being able to do anything for myself reliant on others for everything.

The new report about severe and difficult asthma, which has launched by Asthma UK, makes me feel so fortunate to have such a good team and access to specialist asthma services to manage my asthma. Even with everything I have available my friends and family don’t fully understand how severe and life threatening asthma can be. I am sure if I did not have access to the specialists then asthma would have killed me. Everyone who may have severe asthma or difficult to control asthma needs to have access to specialists to help them live the lives they deserve to.

A year on monoclonal antibody treatment

I can’t believe it is a year since I started on mepolizumab (mepo) a monoclonal anti body treatment to suppress my eosinophils in a bid to help my asthma. The big question is as it helped?

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I am not sure. My consultant seems to think it has and I am to continue on it. My eosinophils have dropped dramatically however I am still on the same maintenance prednisolone dose and we have not been able to reduce it down and I am no longer working just now. I was in clinic last month speaking to my consultant as I was having second thoughts about staying on mepolizumab because I cant see a huge amount of improvement but he feels it is worth staying on it and I have been approved to stay on it for the following reasons:

  1. My blood eosinophil count has come down (I’m not sure of the exact figure just now but we are checking again next month)
  2. My peak flow although overall it is lower than it was the variation in peak flow readings is no longer there and it is a lot more consistent- I cant complain about this as now I know where I am each day compared with before where the diurnal variation was huge.
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  3. Although I have had a near fatal attack and several others requiring hospital I have been able to recover from them a lot quicker than before. My consultant described some of my attacks as spectacular (Im not sure how I feel about that).
  4. Chest infections and colds have not quite taken the hold that they were before and again recovering has been a lot quicker.
  5. My quality of life is better (although for me I am still really struggling with the idea of not being at work doing the job I love).

Looking at the reasons my consultant listed I really cannot complain and can see that the mepo has had an impact. It has not had the wonder drug impact that I hoped for and that I have read many have had but I am alive and have a great team behind me so really need to be thankful.

I did some work a good number of years ago for Astra Zeneca where I met some other asthma patients. One young lady I met had their life totally transformed by Xolair going form being intubated numbers times, not being able to work and very disabled by their asthma to having a full time job and minimal asthma issues. I think deep down part of me was desperate to have this effect. I remember thinking after I was told I would start mepo that I might be able to get back to the gym, start running again and playing lacrosse and golf but that has not been the case which is a bit disappointing for me but I was told not to get my hopes up too much.

Even though the mepo has not been the wonder drug that was going to transform my life I am so grateful to my consultant for being willing to try it and keeping me on it. Apart for the hopes of it transforming my life I was worried about the side effects it might have. On the whole I have really not had any significant side effects. I have been finding I get a bit of a local reaction for about 48-72 hours post injection where the skin is red and hot. Initially when I first started getting the injection I did get a really bad headache, backache and just a general feeling of being unwell. After about the 3rd injection this went away. I have found that if I am a bit under the weather in the days leading up to getting the mepo then I tend to get more side effects in terms of headache etc but nothing that has been so bad it is not worth getting the injection especially as I am not having to get up and work set hours etc.

I have come across different stories on social media about peoples experience of biologics but one thing I have found is the number of people weighing up the travel for these treatments. When you asthma gets to the severe end of the spectrum most are referred on to a tertiary centre where their care is managed and their local hospital is there as a support team but do not take the overall control of your management. There are not many tertiary centres so there is often a lot of travel involved. I am lucky that Id not have a huge distance to travel but I think even if I did I wouldn’t mind because I know the team are doing it in my best interests and the least I can do is travel although it may be more difficult when you factor in that you do have severe asthma which is already controlling your life but if there is a chance that this is going to help then the travel is worth it!!

Another discussion I had with my consultant was about new biologics that are coming out. He is hopeful that dupilumab may have its use altered and some asthmatics may qualify for it. Just now it is only used in adult eczema in the UK but in the States there have been people on it who have aspirin sensitive asthma which is what I have except that I am anaphylactic to aspirin and salicylic acid so fingers crossed this gets a green light at some point as we both think this might work well for me.

The use of these monoclonal anti body drugs is dependent on such specific criteria and the patient needs to meet them and the consultant needs to be able to provide evidence for it before you get the green light. Because of this many are not getting the opportunity to try it and see if it has an effect.

For me I did not match the criteria for blood eosinophils but my consultant was able to argue the case. He was able to show that the prednisolone I am on will be surpassing eosinophil production and if i was not on it then my count would be elevated but it is too dangerous to take me off them or down a significant amount just to get the blood result. I would say it is worth asking your consultant to see if there is potentially a way to justify why you need to try this treatment and then be approved for it. It is so frustrating that a drug you are trying to get off is the main factor to many not meeting the criteria, but if you came off it then it is so dangerous as your asthma can go so out of control without it. I can see why they have strict criteria because the drugs are really expensive as they are such targeted drugs but in time they will drop in price and hopefully the criteria for the drugs will also be more flexible too.

Overall I am glad I have had the chance to try mepolizumab and being able to stay on it. If I had not changed consultants I doubt I would even be considered for it which is a scary prospect as I have no idea where I would be with my health.

If anyone has questions about monoclonal antibody treatment please ask!!

Trauma of ICU

Finally I am able to sit down without getting upset or terrifying myself about my latest hospital admission specifically experience in ICU. The photo below may not look like much and you may think its a window and building but this is what has caused me to much trauma.

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Before anyone reads on please note this is just my feelings from it and my experience. The staff: nurses, support workers, physios and Dr’s were all fantastic and could not do anymore to help me.

This admission has rocked me so much. A lot more than any other has and I hope that I won’t ever get like this again.

There was a series of events I think which led to it all becoming too much once I got back to the ward and I guess basically I just broke down with fear that my asthma will kill me.

The lead up to being admitted was really rapid, as I said in my previous post where I spoke about the admission and how it went broadly speaking. What I didnt speak about was the true mental toll it took on me.

As with any trip to ICU in the back of your mind you know its not good because ICU is the end of the road in terms of hospital care you cant get any more treatment beyond what they an offer. I have been to ICU so many times, I cant even count the number of times I have been admitted there and come out the other end.

Once up in ICU there was the usual battle of trying to get a arterial line in which again failed and we decided to stop short of a cut down thank goodness as this caused me to lose the feeling in my left thumb and part of palm. High flow oxygen running various IV infusions and I had this feeling of being safe. I was in ICU and would be ok. Next came review from the consultant who said if things did settle next step is being intubated and ventilated.  I have had the said to me several times so I didnt think much more about it.

It was not until I came back to the respiratory ward that mentally I really found it tough. After starting to feel much better and access being an issue I was keen to be weaned off some of the infusions I was on. This didnt go to plan and a few hours after I really didnt feel to great so I let them know. Junior drs came to review and were concerned. It was late on in the day and about 7pm my own consultant came round to review me- that in itself freaked me as he was not even on the ward team but he came through. He wanted everything put back to the previous doses, have a whole load of nebulisers and be moved to the high care bay for close observations.

It was the move to the high care bay that brought so much flooding back and I felt that I just couldn’t cope at all. I have been in the high care bay before and never had any issues. I already felt quite on edge because by this point I had been seen by 2 consultants out of hours who came to listen to my chest and see how I was, have all my medications increased again and being moved. The move was what was enough to tip me over the edge. Once moved and settled I looked up and out the window and could see the ICU. The photo from above is below and I have marked where the ICU is.

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The combination of what the consultant said in ICU, and then getting worse on the ward and having consultants review me when they would not normally see you come in to review you and then seeing ICU again and the Dr’s talking about taking you back there was just too much. I think it was also because on the ward I was on the maximum treatment for my chest and just not getting better. The consultant was worried because I had been given 36mg of salbutamol via nebulisers with little effect. Thankfully they kept persevering and my airways did slowly start to open and breathing became easier.

Its fine when you are acutely unwell and everyone is buzzing around you making sure your ok, listening to your chest, giving you nebulisers, doing your observations you dont get much time to think or worry about not being able to breathe. Its once your that bit better and left alone and normally left with the parting words- “rest and try to get some sleep” and the lights go out. That is when it hits you. Still feeling not great and still finding breathing a real challenge sleep is the last thing you are able to do. Its a very strange feeling when you are so exhausted you want to sleep but scared to sleep at the same time. Being in the dark makes everything much worse and I just got so scared. I couldn’t help but break down. I was able to speak to a nurse but they could not offer much as its not like there is a magic pill that makes fear go away and because of my chest not being great they cant give you anything to help you sleep. At night with less staff around at night they don’t have the time to stop and speak to you and make sure your ok. but at that time it was all I wanted. They did then send a nurse practitioner up who was great but even he said that the psychological support at night was awful and as nurses we are not good at dealing with things unless numbers tell us something.

Over the course of that night as my chest came and went some nurses kept coming and saying to me all my numbers were looking better so I am doing ok. I think this is one of the statements I hate more than anything. I don’t care that my numbers may be ok or better I still feel like crap and having good numbers does not help with the crippling fear I am experiencing.

Once morning finally came around I felt really stupid for getting so upset but was able to have a chat with the Dr about it. I knew it was a vicious cycle of being upset, makes my breathing worse, which makes me more upset as I get scared it means going back to ICU but it is so hard to get out of that cycle.

The fear of what happened is still plaguing me. More so than normal. I can rationalise going to ICU and the need for their help but this time is just different and I cant get it all out my head.

I am a week out of hospital now and really feel like I am no further forward than I was day 1 post discharge. Everything feels just as hard. I have no idea why. Part of me wonders is it because of the biologic therapy that is making it harder to recover or has this all taken a much larger toll on me than I expected.

I have clinic next week and I hope to go through everything with my consultant and make sense of it all. I also hope he will have a reason for me feeling so rubbish despite being home from hospital.

I think this whole thing has just highlighted that no matter how many asthma attacks you have, or how many hospital admissions you never know when you will hit breaking point or when you just cant keep fighting.

The Verdict!!

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I have been fairly quiet recently mainly because I was terrified. I have had 3 doses of Mepolizumab and was due to attend clinic and see my consultant for the verdict and find out if I am staying on it or not.

The good news is that I am staying on it for now.

Clinic went well. I am so glad that I had that horrific hospital admission that made me decide to change consultant because it has been the best thing I have ever done. It has come with some issues but overall it has been one of the best things I have done.

I had lung function and FeNo both of which were marginally better but what I have noticed is that I am more stable overall. Recording my peak flow has been super helpful and I can identify what causes were when they dropped whereas before I had no idea and it was all over the place. I would love my peak flow to increase but I am happy for stability over gains (gains are unlikely due to the fibrosis in my lungs now).

The other difference this consultant has decided on is with regard to my steroids. Previously it has been a rush to get me down to the lowest dose possible and see how I go but that has always ended up badly and I spend more time on higher doses and it felt like I was on a rollercoaster all the time. Now, as much as we want to get me down to a reasonable dose and hopefully off prednisolone (wish me luck) we are acknowledging what has happened in the past and he kept me on 20mg which felt like ages (3 months) and then alternating 20mg and 15mg daily (2 months) and now I am to stay on 15mg until February March time and then we will readdress reducing it further.

So many people have asked me if I think the mepolizumab is helping. It is so hard to stay. I think it must be as I have been more stable but I worry that this is due to the prolonged prednisolone and super slow reduction but what I am hoping that it is a combination of both. I guess the time to tell what is doing what is if I get unwell (touch wood I don’t) and I can see how quickly I can respond to treatment and not need invasive treatment. I am aiming for this as know hospital is going to happen as my consultant has said this. He said he would have no worries about admitting me to hospital if either he or myself thought my asthma was not great.

We are also changing one of my inhalers. For the first time in as long as I can remember I had an outpatient clinic where my medications were reviewed and we looked at what I needed to keep taking and what could get binned. The only change he wants to make just now is removing the seretide inhaler and replacing it with Relvar a newer once daily preventer inhaler. He wants me to continue taking some extra fluticasone at night to tide me over as I still have quite significant dips in my breathing at night.

Im happy I now have a plan. Know roughly what is happening with my asthma and asthma care. Over the winter period I will be seen every 2 weeks. Monthly clinics with my consultant and then in-between I will be up with the asthma nurse specialists getting my injection and review there. Also should there be an issue I just have to call in.

The one thing out of all of this which I cannot let go of is why did it take throwing my toys out the pram and move consultants to be able to get in control of my asthma or have a plan to get control of it. I just want answers and I know I won’t get them but I am now trying the treatments I have been asking about for a good number of years. I know dwelling on it won’t help but when its your life that has been suffering it is hard.

New drugs, new start?

I haven’t written in ages and I apologise for that but I really did not know what to write and how to write without getting myself angry and upset as I feel the last 8 years have just been a total waste.

I wrote a while back about changing consultant and hospital because I was really finding the relationship I previously had with my consultant was no more and my health was getting worse, I was getting put on more and more drugs and constantly riding a rollercoaster of feeling well and being on high dose steroids to feeling rubbish because my steroids were reduced.

So lots has happened since switching consultant. My first appointment I finally felt someone was going to do something to help. I was put forward by my consultant at their MDT meeting to see if another consultant would agree to me being a candidate for mepolizumab. Due to the cost of the drug you need meet certain criteria and have a second consultant agree to it. Thankfully another consultant agreed and the wheels were in motion for me to start.

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I didnt really know what to expect. Its not like other drugs you get by injection like any sickness or steroids where you notice a difference pretty quickly. This one it can take a few weeks before you notice positive effects from it but Im not sure what I will feel and what the positive effects will be. Will it be the nights are better and I won’t wake up so much needing meds or will my peak flow be increased or able to do more during the day with less symptoms??

Time will tell how it goes. For me because of the steroids I am on they are going to use my maintenance dose of steroid a marker for effect of the mepolizumab so if I can reduce this then we can move forward and continue on the mepolizumab but if I cant reduce them without my chest getting worse then I won’t stay on it and will be back to square one and trying to find something else to help me.

Speaking to the nurse they seem to have had really positive effects and not many people have had to stop. Also the side effects have not been too bad apparently. A bit of a headache and back pain seem to be the most common. My head has been killing me but it is easing off and if that is the only side effect I cant really complain because a headache is the least of my worries as the pain and suffering from my chest over all these years far out weighs a sore head!!!

There is deep seated feeling of anger in me which I need to get over but I just cant shake this feeling of having wasted my time with my old consultant. Everyone told me she was the best but I guess the best is not always what works and it really didn’t for me. I asked so often to try different things anything to try and get some stability even asked to stay on the higher dose of steroid as I knew this was what my lungs were happy with but it was always a no and just had to persevere and would get there. Clearly that didnt work as every attack I ended up in ICU or HDU and so much time off work. If it was not for understanding bosses I would be out a job and have no purpose or aim to try and get myself well. I am really angry that it took a horrible admission to hospital and me essentially getting so upset that I was getting no where and people asking me if I had tried x,y and z and all I could say was no and they look quizzically at me like I am mad because my asthma is so uncontrolled yet I have not even been considered to trial some of the more medications till now.

I need to keep myself grounded though. Even though the results of this drug in others has been fantastic I really don’t want to be disappointed and pin all my hopes on it to then be totally devastated that it doesn’t work or it doesn’t work well enough to justify keeping me on it. Even with the best results there can be from the mepolizumab my lung issues won’t totally be cured as the years of uncontrolled asthma have caused a lot of airway remodelling and scarring which cant be reversed.

Fingers crossed the next three months are full of good things and I can stay on the mepolizumab as I desperately want my life back or even just some of my life back where I don’t have to spend all the time I am not working resting to make sure I am then able to work the next day.

Will keep updating as I go and if I see effects from it.