2016 has been a pretty awful year. There have been highs but there has also been some mega low points so like much of the world I am looking forward to 2017 and to it being better than this year has been.
January, I guess the start of the year set it off, after being admitted to the intensive care unit on Hogmanay with my asthma. This really took it out of me as for the first time I could not work out what went wrong and why I went downhill so quickly. It still haunts me to this day about how it all went off so quickly.
Then after being discharged too early (i am one who will go as soon as possible but this time I wasn’t and knew I shouldn’t be going home but the Dr’s were not listening!). So two weeks after discharge I got readmitted and spent my 30th birthday on the respiratory ward which I know all to well. So I guess its not too bad as I knew who everyone is etc but its not the best feeling.
Photo from on my 30th birthday. At this point I didnt think the year could get much worse. I was off work so long and really worried about being able to keep working. January was one long fight and I was so glad so see the back of it.
February was a better month. Spending time with my nephew making pancakes and also being part of the Scotland squad. Despite the my last hospital admission occurring mid Scotland training weekend I was still able to trial for Home Internationals in Guildford Surrey later in the year so it gave me focus. Having that focus was a huge thing for me and a real positive in what seemed like a whole heap of negativity.
March was my nephews 3rd birthday- so always a good time to spend with the family celebrating and eating cake!!! I also went to the Scottish Parliament again in March with Asthma UK for the cross party group on Asthma. This was the last one held and there has not been another one this year which is a bit sad as Scotland really is leading the way with asthma research and big data research looking at whole populations in databases rather than bit parts. Hopefully we will have another CPG again soon. At the end of march I also moved house. I moved from my 1 bed first floor flat to a 2 bed top floor flat just round the corner from where I used to live. It was the best move ever!!!
April- this was the start of the year becoming good. The hard work I put in paid off. My asthma was semi under control. Or as under control as I could get it. But I was able to travel to Guildford Surrey as part of the Scotland B squad for Home Internationals playing England, Wales and Ireland. It was a dream since I was at school to play for Scotland, pull that blue or white shirt on and sing Scotland the Brave in front of a crowd. I got to do it and it may not be much to some people but it was the most awesome feeling. I enjoyed it so much and was really proud to have been selected.
My club team also won the final four weekend of the Mixed clubs tournament which was great!
May- there was more lacrosse. Capital won the MacRobert Mixed Tournament, Capital won Community Engagement Club of the Year along with Edinburgh City for the after school club we run. I was also elected as Development Director for the Lacrosse Scotland Board. It was a big month lacrosse wise but also it saw world asthma day which was a much quieter affair this year than previous days. Softball and the Laxadaisicals started back up for the season!! Softball was great to keep team spirit up while there was not so much Lacrosse going.
June was a huge month and one of the most positive months of the year. Mainly because I was so busy but also because through March, April and May I had been trying not to do so much to enable my lungs to be good for what was going to hit them. We started off with a trip to Italy for my Mum’s 60th Birthday. It was amazing. A big villa in the mountains with all the family just about. My older step sister and her kids couldn’t make it due to school and the fact my youngest nephew was not born yet!!!
June continued to be an awesome month as I travelled to London to join some americans who were over from America. We formed a team called International Inferno. The girls were from Florida Southern University and their coach Kara who had just won the NCAA Div 2 Championship. I joined them in London for a weekend and had a great laugh getting to know them and playing lacrosse with them. To say I was slightly nervous was an under statement as they have come off the back of a championship win and I am a goalkeeper who has been in the goal about 6 months!!!
After London it was a quick turn around and the travelled to Prague to join the team there for the Prague Cup. Prague was a great experience. We were second in the tournament but it was so much more than just coming second. Have made some great friends and hopefully will see them all again soon.
(two missing from this photo of players!)
Coach Kara Reber in the middle in yellow!!!
So as you can see June was a huge month!! July was a month for rest and recovery and thats what I did. I really feel my body took a hammering from the constant go go go but I wouldn’t change it. It was the really good pick me up and also the sort of finale to my lacrosse playing days. I was ambitious after Home Internationals but could not resist the chance to go and play in Prague etc. Im so glad I did it. Going with your gut it a great thing!
August started off with a trip to London to speak about living with severe asthma. This was a great opportunity as I was not speaking to your average people about asthma but I was speaking to the creme de la creme of asthma researchers and Drs. I was speaking to Drs who I have read about and wanted to be under because of their expertise in asthma. The likes of Ian Pavord and Adel Mansur. I was speaking to them to give them advice of what it is like to live with severe asthma, and the trials of living on steroids. It was a great experience and I ended up coming back with a new area of interest. I joined a group of paediatricians to collaborate with them on a bid proposal for a piece of research. It was amazing being part of something from the birth of it and the idea of it to the grant application. Also this was one of the first times I was a co-applicant on a bid. Something new for me (after this year not my last either!!). My high of the start of the month was short lived as not long after my return from London I ended up having a severe attack and ending up going to intensive care for a few days and then a further week or so in hospital. I kind of pushed to get out of hospital as had big plans in September which I was not prepared to give up on (I did end up not carrying out my plans but more of that to come). This admission was tough. Access was a nightmare, they couldn’t get an IV in. I ended up asking one of my colleagues from renal to come and try cannulate me but not even they could manage it which is so unusual- renal nurses get blood out of anyone!!! It took a while to get off the IV aminophylline as well. But we got there and I got home.
This is a photo I like..I used my oxygen to blow up a frog balloon thing my nephew got on a magazine. I wasn’t able to blow it up (obviously- don’t think I could even now) but thought it was a funny photo!!!
September started off with me making difficult decisions. I pushed to get out of hospital because I had big meetings coming up. I had been invited by Astra Zeneca to come down and talk at their annual meeting which they were hosting in London ahead of the European Respiratory Society Conference. I went down to this and gave my talk. I made some amazing friends, one who has had their life changed by new drugs out there and the other who has asthma like me and can totally understand how it feels. Its not often you get someone who just understands but he does, and then you have someone who proves your life can be changed by drugs which has renewed my hope in the one day there will be a drug I can get which will change my life around.
After the meeting I was meant to stay in London and meet up with Jess a fellow brittle asthmatic who I have spoken to for about 10 years after meeting on the asthma UK forum. I was also meant to be going to a meeting with the European Respiratory Society as a patient expert on a project they are involved in and finally I was also invited to the House of Commons for a drinks reception held by asthma UK but I decided to head home on the Friday night and miss these meetings as I just wasn’t well enough. I didnt get to meet Jess either but we both agreed there would be other times!! I also had clinic in September. I am lucky in that I can contact my consultant should I need to in-between clinic times so clinic is just a touch base time. Nothing was changed and we are just going to keep going as we are and tackle each blip as they come!!!
September I also took on the position of assistant manager (AssMan) of the Scotland Senior Womens Lacrosse team. I was so thankful for this. Since not playing I have really wanted to still be involved in Lacrosse but not knowing how, so by being asked to be AssMan I was thrilled. I have found I can still use some of my sports science background and help out with the exercise testing of the players and help with the goal keepers too. I really enjoy the job and so thankful for it.
September ended with another new experience. I was interviewed for a book which I am being featured in. The book’s working title is Healthcare Hero’s and I am being featured because of the stuff I do for research and with lacrosse in spite of my asthma. But as I said to them at the end of the interview if I didnt do what I do I would be in a big depression and have nothing to live for. Its simple as that.
October was a quiet month. I didnt feel great most of it to be honest. I was back and forth to the Dr a fair bit and emailing my consultant to. I was not really bad but not great. That horrible in between time. I managed to hold out most of the month until my GP decided enough was enough and got me in to be seen. It was a useful admission as it meant we sorted out my main relief from the chronic lung pain I have from all the exacerbations but also got rid of this viral thing I had. It was pretty uneventful other than all the junior Drs were terrified of me as I sounded awful but not awful for me!!!
November was a fairly big month too. We had the annual scientific meeting for the Asthma UK Centre for Applied Research. This was hosted in Edinburgh so I got to stay at home but it was great to meet more PPI members who I have not met before. It was an interesting meeting and also amazing all the research which is going on. Later in November my best friend got married. My little brother payed the pipes. It was held in Edinburgh Zoo and it was an amazing day!! I loved every minute of it. I just wish I could have stayed to the end but my chest was just not up for it and I had to leave. But Jenni looked amazing and both her and Rich looked so happy.
Later my brother also got married up in Loch Tay. They had fantastic weather and could not have asked for a better day. Slightly chilly but clear, no wind and no rain. What more could you want.
Me and my nephew at my brothers wedding.
December to where we are now. December brought the meeting of Jess and her beautiful and wonderful canine partner Xenna. We have waited 10 years to meet but once we met it was like we had always known each other. Poor Xenna didnt get fed till late one night because we were just chatting and didnt realise the time till she started whining at us. She got fed very soon after that don’t worry!!!
(me making Jess look like she has a ta!!) It was so great to meet you!!! One of the strangest things happened though. When we were wanting around the museum Xenna kept staring at me and walking over to me. We think this was because she was picking up I wasn’t well and was getting chesty. She did it several times.
Sadly not long after Jess left I was admitted to hospital with a chest infection. Maybe Xenna was right and could detect I had a bad chest and was brewing something. Even though she is not trained for that. It was very odd. The admission was fairly uneventful and I picked up ok but I was determined to get out and be ok for Christmas and be with my family. It was slightly stressful as didnt let everyone know I was admitted as it was rather routine but news got out. I just want to get on with admissions quietly and my own way unless I am critically ill and going to intensive care or high dependancy then I let everyone know as I would be AWOL otherwise!!!
Christmas came and went. A small quiet Christmas up north with my mum, step dad and youngest brother. It was a lovely time. The weather was awful- very windy, snowy, raining and cold but it meant we could stay in by the fire and reads books and chat.
Today was back to work and face reality before Hogmanay and we welcome in 2017. Here hoping 2017 is a better year health wise than 2016 has been. I have to be honest it has been a long slog and really hard work. There have been some awesome highs but some really bad moments and some movements I never want to go through again.
Motto for 2016 has been Dum Spiro Spero