Hero, warrior, asthmatic, advocate, inspiration, strong are just some of the words I have had people refer to me as recently. While I really appreciate them and am flattered I feel uncomfortable hearing them.
Some adjectives I can learn to adapt to such as advocate but others not so much.
The word health advocate a year ago is something I would never have applied to myself and a term I did not feel comfortable with. Over the last year I have got used to and embrace the term health advocate and will embrace it for years to come as that is what I am and I want to be the best advocate I can be not just for myself, or my condition but for all those with health conditions.
I think the reason I find some of the words so hard to accept is because I don’t want to be thought of as that. I have a chronic health condition that means I have to fight each day. If I didnt then I would be sitting at home doing nothing and that is not in my DNA, but also what life would that be.
Im also lucky this has been my life for so long that actually I cant remember what it feels like to feel well, every day I rely on a cocktail of medications but even that is not enough to make me feel “normal person” well.
I share my story about the ups and downs of living with chronic ill health to try and get more awareness about the disease itself, so others living with the condition know they are not alone and then also to show the real life struggle so that policy may change or new drugs might be developed so no one will have to go through the tough times that I have in the future.
When dealing with a condition that you don’t know when it is going to hit and take you out with an attack you need to make sure you are strong and not just physically but mentally as well. Getting through an asthma attack is as much about physical strength as it is mental strength. This mental strength which I put down to the way I have been raised but also my sporting background has allowed me to not only push through attacks but also push myself so that I get up each day and do something productive no matter how small it is as long as I have achieved something in the day I don’t care.
I am really flattered by some of the words people have associated with me and the way I have dealt with living with ill health. I don’t want to come across as rude or ungrateful as I know everyone is sincere and means it but recently I find it even harder to sink in as a condition I have always been able to beat is finally beating me and dictating my life more than it ever has before so to hear these words are more difficult.
Once I get back on my feet and know what is going on with my life then I will maybe be more accepting of the terms people use to describe the way I face situations.