Reflecting (because every nurse loves a good reflection)

Did you know my blog has lasted longer than my nursing career did??

A failed career in Sports Science- well it was a career that never started thanks to my lungs resulted in me falling into nursing. I never thought I would be a nurse. If you were to ask people what I would end up doing as my career (albeit short) it would not be nursing. It would most likely be something to do with sport.

I can honestly say I have enjoyed every single minute of my nursing career (there may be a few exceptions but generally). From day 1 at uni to what turned out to be my last day (I wish I knew it was at the time).

I have looked back and have some key highlights from over the years.

First Year Student Nurse-

  • The first day of uni and sitting in a lecture theatre with about 250 students and not knowing anyone, wondering if I had done the right thing.
  • Pulling on my student nurse uniform for the first time and feeling so proud
  • My first hospital based placement in the Renal ward and working out that Cat was actually my cousin.
  • Fainting on the ward after a patient split their head open and being fed toast by Sheila the ward clerkess who also kept asking if I was sure I was not pregnant!

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Second Year Student Nurse-

  • Being a student nurse on the high dependency ward, having an asthma attack on the HDU ward and then later that day being a patient on the ward.
  • My ITU placement at the Western General where I got to see brain surgery and also on night shift looking out the window of the break room and seeing my bedroom window. It made for really long night shifts.

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Third and final year student nurse

  • Once again fainting but this time in theatre while wearing a lead dress as it was radiology. It was an 8 hour operation to stent a renal artery and it was very hot so down I went, stumbled out of theatre and fainted again in one of the consultants offices!!
  • Being terrified that I wouldn’t pass my degree as I could not revise properly because my grandpa was seriously unwell and had major heart surgery in the lead up to the first lot then was on palliative care at home and died just before my final ones. Thankfully stuff must have sunk into my brain and I got my degree with distinction.
  • Management placement in renal and always being told I ask a lot of questions, but also always asking people to test me as I was applying for jobs so wanted interview practice. Turns out that practice was not great as had an awful interview but thankfully got the job.
  • The day I got told I had a job on the renal ward I was on nightshift and remember Laura the other student nurse from my year also had an interview but neither of us knew if the other person had got the job so we were super awkward around each other till we both knew!!

Of course the biggest highlight of my time as a student nurse was graduating and getting a distinction in my degree which meant I could go on an register to be a staff nurse with the Nursing Midwifery Council.

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I had 3 years of being a student nurse and then 7 years being a renal nurse where I spent all my time in Renal. Oddly I hated learning about the kidney in school and spectacularly failed my Biology AS Coursework which was about the kidney!! I was not much fussed for the kidney at uni either but once on the ward I found it fascinating. I think its because I am a practical learner!

It has been really hard to pick just a few highlights or memories that have stuck with me from my time as a staff nurse on the renal ward.

  • Pulling on the cornflower blue uniform for the first time and sitting in handover waiting to be given my first patients. I was so scared. I kept thinking what happens if I do something wrong or kill one of them etc. I had millions of scenarios going on in my head all negative of course.

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  • Every nurse will remember their first cardiac arrest. I heard the arrest buzzer go off and I was standing next to the crash cart when it happened, so I grabbed the cart forgetting to unplug it from the wall and off I went. I didnt get far before I jerked back and knew I had forgotten to do something fairly vital!
  • I did a bank shift on the transplant ward. I knew about kidney transplants as had dealt with patients who have had failed transplants etc but never really spoken to someone with a new transplant and one that was working. I was curious. It turns out that patient taught me a huge amount. Firstly they don’t take your old kidneys out if they don’t have to and then when asked to see what their scar was like and helloing them pull their jumper up thinking the scar would be at the back I was shocked when they started unbuttoning their trousers. Transplanted kidneys go in the pelvis!
  • Catching a patient who had really horrific bloods and lots of fluid on board munching on lots of crisps. When advising the patient that perhaps they shouldn’t eat them as they are so high in salt and this will make them super thirsty etc. I was told that it was ok because they were cheese crisps and not salted ones!! I must say I couldn’t help but laugh.
  • In the ward you get given 4 patients a shift on day shift. Either one bay of 4 people or 4 side rooms. I had a bay of 4 people this particular shift. We were also due for an inspection this same shift. I start to get all my patients up and washed, go for my break with one patient left to wash. Come back from my break to find water pouring out from under the bathroom door, one patient not in their bed so I think they must be washing themselves. Next thing I see is the clinical nurse manager coming out the bathroom soaking wet with the patient. She had decided to be helpful and wash my patient before the inspection. I was very grateful to her for doing this by my goodness she made a mess!!
  • There is of course the Christmas parties, tea parties and just general camaraderie of being part of a team.

When my lungs got too much for me to keep working on the ward and when patients were offering up their beds to me as I looked so unwell I was given the chance to move to the Community Dialysis Team. This was a job I loved. I could spend time with patients, work their treatments around their life and felt I could really make an impact to their lives. Of course there are some memories from this role too

  • Being back in my own clothes and everyone calling me Dr- I think because I wore chinos and a shirt or chinos and a polo shirt.
  • My first day being shown the ropes and managing to burst a bag of peritoneal dialysis fluid all over a patients bed (I was mortified).
  • Coming into work but not feeling great, which was then made worse by people smoking at the doors so I ended up in quite a bit of difficulty to the point that my boss found a wheelchair and basically ran with me in it to A&E. So embarrassing and terrifying (not the attack but the wheelchair driving!!!)
  • Seeing patients transform as they start dialysis and really getting to know them, and help them get their treatment optimised so it can still fit in with their lifestyle so they can pursue their hopes and dreams.

Over my entire career there is one moment that stands out above and beyond everything else and that would be when the whole renal team and chaplaincy worked together to pull off a wedding for a patient who was still very young but had to withdraw from dialysis because all her access failed. The wedding was put together in an afternoon and each department did their bit to being their bit of special to the event. It was lovely to see everyone doing what they felt was right from decorating the rooms with the christmas lights, to getting 2 beds into the side room, sneaking in some beer and champagne to celebrate the marriage. It is not only an event that is a moment in my career I won’t forget but in my lifetime I won’t forget.

In this blog post I could go on and on and write about so much because I have really loved my time as a renal nurse. There have been lows but then there are lows with all jobs.

The biggest low for me is that it has come to an end and I couldnt really say goodbye. My last day as a nurse I didnt know it was going to be my last day. Often when people leave their jobs they know they are moving on and retiring so can say goodbyes. I didnt. I have so many people who have been so influential in my career and so many patients that have shaped me as a nurse that I would have loved the chance to thank them and say goodbye.

For now I am no longer working as a renal nurse. I might one day be able to go back and practice again once my health is in better shape but for now my career is on pause and who knows the it will resume again.

For now this is me…..

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How do you write a blog post?

A phone call with author of Stumbling in Flats turned from working with pharma to writing in blog posts. A blogger for 13/14 years I have never thought about my blog posts and I have made it known that I just let my fingers do the work letting the words flow from brain to the page. I learnt some valuable information from that phone call.

A witty captive opening statement “Chocolate haunts me. Last night I dreamt a giant Jaffa  Cake chased me down the road

Im not sure I can do the witty part but I need to think about the opening statement. Something that draws people in and sets the scene of my post. I guess it is like basic story telling, a beginning a middle and an end. A story is only as good as its first sentence. If you don’t like it then you probably are not going to keep reading. A blog is just the same.

I also learnt that a post should be able to read stand alone and the reader will know what  you are talking about and not need to read every blog post you have ever written to know who you are and what your story is!

A good about page is also essential. I must update mine ASAP. The fact that I cant remember when I last updated it means it needs updated urgently!!!

The last point was post length. Set a limit. 400-500 words is about right. There are some posts where I ramble on- often when I am trying to tell a story to get stuff off my chest or just to get something off my chest!! Strange to be saying that I write to get stuff off my chest when all my problems occur because of my chest!!!

Here’s hoping for some new and captivating blog posts that I can still get the same positive relief from personally and that people might read.

I started my blog because I was struggling to deal with the impact my asthma was having only life. This was a time when blogging was not such a big thing, social media was in its infancy and smart phones did not exist. As technology evolves so must we. Blogs have so much impact on people within the chronic health community and also those who are affected by it wether that be family, friends or even those working in the medical field. The one thing that is still the same to some extent is that I still blog to help myself deal with the impact asthma has on my life.

Guest blog post: Why being a Volunteer is Important in healthcare?

And how to keep them happy and feeling valued.

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Hi, My name is Mark Hudson, You probably have no idea who I am, that’s ok I’d be surprised if you did. Olivia and I met in August of 2018 at an ICU steps Edinburgh event, Creativity in ICU recovery, it was my first speaking event. I was nervous as talking about what happened to me in ICU is not easy, it is bearing my soul, several people spoke at me. Note that AT me, an ex ICU consultant who basically telling me about what a patient goes through in recovery, arrogant right? Other spoke at me telling me why they where great, Dr Ramsay introduced herself but was very busy so during the event didn’t have the time to talk (which is fine there was a lot going on). So, who was the first person who actually spoke to me? Who treated me like a person, a person whose view was important? Olivia. I don’t have many friend but I make them fast, with me its all in or all out, I don’t have any middle ground. My health issues and nearly dying in ICU made some things clear to me, life is short and as such you should surround yourself with good people. I chose to surround myself with great people like Olivia.

I have only met Olivia one other time in the real world but I am happy to call her one of my best friends. Why I hear you asking? Because we have fought in the trenches of Critical Illness, we have battled ICU Delirium, we have had to deal with life long health issues and we have both made it through mostly intact. Ok so now to get to the point of the blog, I hear you saying thank god, a bit rude but that ok I forgive you 😉

I was given an opportunity to Volunteer after I completed my ICU rehabilitation clinic I was invited to become the peer support volunteer for the clinic it was a big deal to me as it was an opportunity to pay back for the people who saved my life and help to make those who came after me in ICU’s lives a bit better. A chance to make a real difference in peoples lives, this is the main reason why people volunteer in these types of positions. However, it is very easy to take them for granted, after all they are not paid so they are valued as, less right? Well no because you are being paid to do your job, they are giving up their time and experience. So how do you avoid this pothole, well you do somethings my team did with me, you listen to their input taking it seriously and weighting as equal to the other team members or greater depending on the subject. Also inviting them to any Quality improvement meetings you have and treat them like one of the team as they are not a guest they are very much in your team. Other things like remunerating for their travel is important too as why should they be out of pocket for helping you out.

I have now started doing what I call freelance volunteering inside my health board mainly on Delirium so far. This is where I am brought in to talk say at a conference or training session etc. Now these situations are trickier for the people who are bringing the Volunteers in because unlike my clinic experience, I am not part of the team. However, in this situation I am being brought in as an ‘Expert’ now this can be a problematic area as you are often viewed on as a free resource. No other expert would be looked at in that way, it is as if because you are giving your time up for nothing you lose position you become an almost inferior. This is the worst thing you can do to a volunteer because you will make them feel like a failure and not respected, which will make them much less likely to volunteer with you or anyone else for that matter. So, I hear you asking how to avoid this, its trickier, because there is not usually a pre-existing relationship it can be tricky. Here is my ‘guide’: if you are in a faraway or difficult to get to part of a building meet them at the front door; if there are other speakers or ‘important’ team members introduce them and say they have came to help you do x or have Volunteered to show us X it shows they are important; Introduce them before they speak and thank them when they are done in front of the group it shows their value to the group; and at very very least offer to pay any travel expenses because why should they pay to help you.

Ok so the serious stuff aside it boils down to is remember they are a human being put yourself in their shoes and see how you would want to be treated. Remember they owe you nothing, they do not need to help you, that is sometimes forgot. They do not need to give you their time, insights, wisdom or bear their soul to you. They are giving you a gift, its not yours to take or demand its theirs to give so remember that when you are working with volunteers.

Mark also writes his own blog which is well worth a read. Mark is also an avid poet writing some fantastic poems. I have been very fortunate and Mark has penned a few poems for me which I will post for others to enjoy too!!

Mark’s blog is: https://autoimmunedisorderjourney.blogspot.com

Twitter: @MarkThomHudson