After a good few days feeling totally down in the dumps, sorry for myself and thinking the light that was at the end of the tunnel had totally gone out I am feeling more confident and the light is coming back and I don’t think all the hard work I have put in get better is wasted. It was still worth it and this was only a minor set back in a road to proper asthma control and good health.
To say I thought that I was back to square one would be an under statement. I had visions of spending more time off work and more time in hospital and even more time on high dose oral steroids. I was full of doom and gloom and felt the best thing to do was give up. I found it hard not to think like that given my past history for getting back on track and then it all going down the plug. I really didnt want that to happen again but almost felt it was inevitable.
I managed to change my mindset and think that this time I was stronger, fitter and mentally in a better head space that I can beat this and will get back on top and enjoying myself again. I can’t expect to not have set backs and unless I lived in a bubble I would not be immune to getting colds and infections so just need to get on with it and be sensible. After some vitamin C, early nights and anti biotics I am starting to feel better. I am finding my best time of day is the afternoon. First thing in the morning I am not so good and again last thing at night I get this hacking cough but nights are always a bit tricky for me anyway. For as long as I remember my asthma at night has always been bad so for it to be bad just now is not surprising.
I must add work I have done with a psychologist who looks in to coping methods for people with long term conditions has helped as well. Changing how I view set backs and not see them as failure has helped. I would often see a set back as failed to achieve control rather than a natural hiccup that comes with having a long term condition that probably won’t go away. Life is always going to have hiccups but it is how I deal with them is important to recovering and keeping well. Accepting that things happen and sometimes there is no control or no way to stop them but learn from what has happened and take positives from it.
It s easy for me to sit now and write this now but a few days ago I would never have been able to look to the good or rationalise this blip as I have today and I hope that I will in time be able to not see every dip as going back to square one but rather view it as it is.. a dip that will go up again and back to where I was and not a slippery downhill.
Its good to see things going the right way and changing the way I am thinking about it all. It has helped me cope a lot with it now.