2019 the good, the bad & the ugly

With the new year fast approaching I like to reflect back on how the year has been and what I have achieved. Last years post can be found here .

My thought for 2019 was:

2019 is going to be a great year, a year to focus on achieving the best health I can and enjoy life again. There will be hiccups, there will be hospital admissions but rather than feeling defeated by this I will accept them as part of my life and ongoing management!

Well I guess some of it is correct but I am pretty sure when I wrote that I did not think I would be in the position I am now in, it has not been all bad though!

I have focused on trying to improve my health. I made decisions and took steps I never thought I would to really put my body first. I gave up working in the hospital to try and get my breathing better. To start with this was going well but after a few very traumatic asthma attacks my life has been changed and Ia have been left with more permanent damage and had to come of biologic treatment as a result. I am working hard though to over come this. I am determined I will get my independence back and be able to walk without a stick. I may not get the feeling back in my leg but I can work with this. Along with work I decided to not travel to various things mainly lacrosse because I felt I would not be supported and I would not be able to prioritise myself.

I have continued coaching lacrosse at schools, universities and with Scotland. I gave up working with the senior team and focus on working with the goalkeepers in the U19 set up which has been so rewarding. The U19 also brought me all sorts of things back from their World Cup which I was gutted I couldn’t go to- mainly due to poor communication from the seniors letting me think something different but then it turned out I was in hospital too for it. I am looking forward to this year and being back with the U19 Scotland team. I am still coaching at schools and picked up a 2nd team at Edinburgh University so now coach the 2nd’s and the 3rd’s. I am loving coaching and find it so rewarding.

Research and advocacy as always has been a big part of the year. In fact travelling to a huge advocacy conference in Dallas was life changing. The HealtheVoices event was something else. I loved every minute of it. I made so many friends and realised that I am not alone in what I am trying to achieve. Speaking about your own experiences and how to navigate living life with a chronic health condition is beneficial for others. You can make changes even if they are small. I will be forever grateful for my time in Dallas. I also had other events where I was presenting including some pharmacuetical internal events, wider NHS events where I made some great friends and we are going to try and pull off some great things this year, went to Madrid for the European Respiratory Society Congress where I had a poster accepted for the patient day, presented a poster at the AUKCAR ASM as well as some other virtual events too. It has been busy and I think will only get busier this year. I have been able to write for a pharma company who have a website called Life Effects where I can write articles about my experience of living with severe asthma. Off the back of HealtheVoices I became a PEARLS Ambassador through the work of Rick Guidotti which has been great and have got to know some of the other ambassadors too.  So far I have several events planned for 2020 that I am speaking at and I am sure there will be more as the year goes on.

The biggest part of this year has been getting Ghillie. Ghillie has been life changing. I cannot believe that I got him in April. I cant imagine life without him now. He is achieving so much and is always there for me. I will do a post just for him to update on how he is and what he is doing. I never thought he would be as good as he is now. He can be a total monkey but then when I am not feeling good or am struggling he is there to comfort me and help me with things. Topping the year off with him being a feature in a newspaper article all about what his role is as my assistance dog.

86C1ACE0-BB1D-4599-B3DC-720067A985B1_1_201_a

What are my hopes and aspirations for 2020. I want to continue as I have with 2019. Focus on my health and do what I need to do to ensure it can be the best it can be. I am sure like with 2019 there will be hospital admissions, hard times, illness, frustrations but I can over come them. I just need to be patient and work my way through things. I want to grow my toolbox of skills that I can use to better myself and use my experiences to help others. My friendships this year have suffered a lot- mainly because I have struggled so much and been so unwell that I cant attend things so I end up bailing on friends and they get bored with me always cancelling so don’t invite me to things anymore. I want to try and change this and make a real effort to go to things. I value my friendships so much and don’t want to lose anymore.

2020 is going to be a year of positivity, focusing on finding my best self and feeling content with life.

I hope everyone has a fantastic 2020.

Live the life you want to live.

Welcome Ghillie

I can’t believe I have not posted about Ghillie. For the longest time I have wanted to get a dog. I had cocker spaniels as a kid and my grandparents always had dogs and rescue dogs. While working I always thought I would never be able to have a dog as it would just not be fair and I was not one for wanting to either leave the dog at home and someone else walk them or leave them in the car or crate etc. I have read a lot and met a few people who have service dogs and spoken about the various different things they can do. My consultant had also mentioned them as well and he supported me which is great.

Now that I am not working in the hospital and mainly doing research and public speaking plus some writing it seemed like the perfect time to investigate further and see how the best way to get a dog which would then be trained to be a service dog. I feel very strongly that everyone likes to train their dog in their own way. Some charities you get matched with a dog who is pre-trained which is great but I want to have that bond so opted to get a puppy myself, train it and go through the kennel club obedience tests before going on to start working towards assistance training.

A lot of research went into choosing the right breed and breeder. Having had cocker spaniels when I was younger I knew I would be fine with them as they never caused me any issue. I have been lucky with dogs as one the whole I am good with them except the ones that malt all the time. So I thought about a cocker and found some breeders but doing my research I learnt that the nose on a poodle is far more sensitive than of a cocker so it was recommended for my need that a cockapoo would be the best cross breed as it would have the nose  and scent attributes of a poodle but then also the work and gun dog ethic of a cocker.

I sourced a breeder, did some background, went out to see the breeder armed with questions and was surprised when he too was armed with questions for me. I guess because he wants to make sure the puppy goes to the right place. As soon as I met the breeder I knew it was a good fit and he was the right one. I just hoped he thought the same about me! Thankfully he did.

When it came to choosing the pup I stood in the area and let the puppy come to me. This wee guy was the one that came to me so I decided to go with him. Next came the name. He ended up being called Ghillie after a text message was miss read. I had a few others but Ghillie just sort of stuck. I like it and also there is a link to the breeder as he is a ghillie!

This is him at 2 weeks old.

fullsizeoutput_2d31

At weeks old he got to come home with me to start his new life with me. I feel a little bit like a crazy dog lady as keep posting photos but at a time in my life where things have not been that great he has been the much needed distraction and companion. It has been less than 2 weeks but he has had such a big impact already and not just for me but also my mum and youngest brother too as well as nephew and sister in law.

The day I picked him up to bring him home.

f825d2a9-8655-4c3d-8477-2b58ed4706d2

The first week has been busy and hard work but it will pay off in the long run. I have discovered how clever he is. We are doing a lot of house training. Not many hiccups although we have had a few times when it is like he has forgotten everything he has been taught but I think it is more because he gets distracted and hyper excited about anything and everything.

Having Ghillie at home is like a breath of fresh air. He is so dependent on me for everything that it gives me a real purpose and not waste away my days. I cant wait for him to be able to go outside so he can explore the world, see the beach and go up north. He is a little monkey as well and knows when he has been caught doing something he shouldn’t he gives me those puppy dog eyes that butter wouldn’t melt.

Below are a few more photos of him. So many people were asking for photos and asking about how he will become a service dog, I have created an instagram account called @ghillieservicepup where you can see photos but I will also post about his training and becoming my service dog as well as my companion.

8543893816246980297_IMG_1819

K2CeINeOQ2e4%gBdcp5fVg

CppIcb7iRNmbnqWprOkliw

+42njLiKQh2aqcvUF2DDFw