Since getting things back on track with work etc I have realised I need to make some tough choices and prioritise what I need to do versus what I want to do.
In 2015 I had the best summer volunteering and recording statistics at the U19 World Lacrosse Championships. 2 weeks of full on lacrosse from watching, commentating, doing first aid, odd jobs and the main thing was stats. It was hard work and meant being outside in rain, wind, more wind and a little sun. So naturally when the Lacrosse World Cup was to be hosted by England and take place in Surrey I was straight on the web and signing up to do statistics again. I was so excited and looking forward to 2 weeks of lacrosse and getting to watch it pitch side and be involved right on the sideline of the competition.
As time got nearer I have secured accommodation onsite and really looking forward to seeing friends from the FIL again who I worked closely with at the U19 Champs. I was also given the role of 1 of 3 stats leads for the World Cup which I was over the moon about. I was really looking forward to it but recent events was casting doubts into my mind about wether or not I could manage it physically. I didnt doubt my ability in doing stats but my stamina to spend 2 weeks only feet non stop with long days up early and bed late.
So after much thought and consideration I have decided its best not to go down to Surrey. I am really gutted but there will be other World Cups I can volunteer at but I only have one life and I need to concentrate on getting my health back on track and maximising my stamina and not run myself down into the ground where I can’t do my job and feel well.
My work have been fantastic with me and I really can’t jeopardise that at all. I know myself that if I went to Surrey I wouldn’t be able to help myself and wouldn’t be able to say no if I was asked to do extra stuff. I would be running on adrenaline and would try and do all that I could to get the most out of the experience, so I have decided it is best to withdraw from volunteering and not go down.
I will be following the World Cup online and watching the matches and seeing how Scotland do and wishing them on from afar. I will be focusing on getting myself feeling good and getting on top of everything which I hope will mean in the future I can do more and enjoy things like lacrosse again.
It is really hard when things you love have to play second string to what you need to do to look after your health. I remember the days when I really didnt have a care and could do what I wanted when I wanted and not have to think about things so much or worry about having enough medication or what potential triggers could be around causing attacks. Its frustrating but I am hoping by taking these steps will mean that I can miss doing one thing which will allow me to do more and more in the future.