Trying to stay motivated.

Its hard to stay motivated to get yourself well when you hit a brick wall each time. Being out of hospital for just under two weeks now I would expect to be breathing a bit better and able to get out and about more. I am struggling with my chest and the smallest of things making me wheezy and left gasping for breath. I feel like I am tethered to my nebuliser just to be able to breath easily.

Part of it is self inflicted as I went to the rugby on Saturday to watch Scotland once again get another beating. Wooden Spoon for us….again!

But my breathing had not been settled before I went so I thought why not go and see how it goes. My chest infection has come back which is why I have not been feeling great. It is amazing how easily infections come on from the long term prednisilone. I started antibiotics last night but I am coughing more stuff up off my chest today.

I was meant to go back to work today but I spoke with my charge nurse last week and she wanted me to have another week off. Normally I go back to work quite quickly after an attack and manage alright. No one has ever seen an attack before so they are oblivious to how ill I have been and have now issues with coming back to work however this time its different, I was seen at almost my worst! I thought I would get back to work as I normally do but not this time. I am glad I was told to take an extra week off. I am really not well enough this week yet to go to work but had I been allowed I am sure I would have tried.

Im so fed up of not being able to do everything I used to. Even a year ago I could do more than I can now and its frustrating. I have done nothing for the last 2 weeks and try and try to get out and do things but when I come back I am floored. I think just now I am at the worst I have been ever for everyday living. I have been much much sicker when having acute episodes but have had hospital intervention to get my asthma back under as much control possible but with each acute attack I never quite get back the quality of life I had before.

Taking the positives from it all. By being off work for an extra week than I wanted does mean I can go to the Cross Party Meeting for Asthma up at the Scottish Parliament where one of our directors from AUKCAR is attending which will be good with the focus of the meeting being on the importance of asthma research. I love the stuff I do for AUK and also the research centre, I don’t know what I would be doing to fill the time as the centre came along just at the right time when I had to reduce my hours at work.

Onwards and upwards just now and try and get my lungs back on track for next week!

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