Holding out

When part of you knows you should go and get help, that little person in the back of your head saying its getting to hard and your tired but then with that all important test and appointment coming up you just don’t want to give in.

 

This is how I feel just now.

Many reading will say this is irresponsible but those who know what it is like will understand. Last month I had my second appointment and next week I go back to see the consultant again and have some testing done. I really want this appointment. I need to do something and something has to change. I feel at a really low point with my asthma just now. I think it is because I lack control with it and the side effects of the steroids are taking over. I am loosing my sporty physique and slim shape which is being replaced by swollen legs and waist etc. Just generally feel a bit blue with it all.

 

In a bid to be sensible I have days off work and instead of rushing around doing a lot of things and things I want t do, I have parked myself on the sofa with only very minimal things to do. It is very boring but when needs must. On the plus side I really must not be feeling great as I have been dosing on and off a lot.

I pray for a day my asthma will no longer control my life. I will control my life and it will just be part of it whereas just now it is all about the chest. No wonder I am so down about it!!

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