I always try and stay positive but recently it has been harder and harder to do so. I feel each day I am facing things I can’t do that I should be able to do or used to be able to do. This mainly occurs a lot of my days off from work. I have just had four days off and had lots of plans for them but due to asthma I had to cancel some of them. I did however go shopping with my dad on one of the days to get my Christmas present but even this was too much and we had to stop. I was taking so much of my inhaler it wasn’t even funny. I was so down as this is something me and my dad so every year and then we have a really nice lunch after it but stupid asthma put a spanner in the works. As a result of that Monday has been a right off too. Spent the day in bed trying to get myself well enough for work tomorrow because that is one thing I am not going to miss. I want to make the most of my last shifts on the ward and look after my patients to the best of my ability. They deserve me to be feeling my best and to do this has meant day in bed today.
I am hoping that once I start my new job I will move out of this negative view on life as I will feel better hopefully and will have more structure to my life. By doing this I hope that I will slowly be able to build myself back up and resume playing golf, going to the gym and training again. If I can do even just one of these things I am sure I will feel happier as won’t think that asthma is totally dominating my life. That I am slowly but surly gaining control back!!!