Its been a while since my last post and had some timeout but things seem to be getting back on track. May didnt out to be quite how I thought it would be. Its had some ups and downs but what months don’t and no one ever goes through life with no ups and downs.
But I am slowly building my hours back up at work. To start with I did just 2 hours a day for 4 days a week and build up from there. At first 2 hours annoyed me as I couldn’t get much done but I can now see why I needed to start there because as I build up to I find I am getting more tired and do have to pace as I realise now I have lost a lot of stamina which I had before. This will come back in time. I won’t be returning my my normal (full) part time hours but will be reduced by another day for the time being which is disappointing and frustrating but I really cannot complain as I still have a job and am very conscious that I am in a very fortunate position. I guess it pays to really enjoy your job!!
One thing I am struggling with just now is getting that work life balance. I don’t really have it or have the confidence in having it just now. I think because of what happened in February and how much it has cost me and altered me I am worried about something like that happening again. I had an absolute blast over in America and it was one of the best trips I have ever been on but it came at a really high price and meant I was in hospital for 3 weeks, and off work for almost 3 months. I know America was not directly responsible for me being so ill and most likely the plane from London (which could happen again) but I need to think about the things I am doing when out of work and if it could impact on work. I think because I love my job so much I am so scared of losing it so trying to balance things I am having difficulty getting my head round. But time will help and I will get that balance back as I find my feet again and feel well for a sustained period of time!
I’m just taking things as they come and having some me time to think about my career for the future especially looking into research more and making more of a career of it but that is a way off yet (hopefully a long way).