I can’t believe that its been 365 days since my 30th Birthday. Sometimes I think the years drag and other days go so quickly. It feels a long time in many ways but in others I still remember my 30th so vivid and for all the wrong reasons. It was terrifying, fighting for breathe and honestly was not sure what was happening. I had so many thoughts going through my head as everything was such a struggle and even going across the ward was exhausting and near on impossible.
Instead this year I was at home, able to coach lacrosse and even play some lacrosse, which is such a contrast to last year. Although numbers wise things are not any better I think adapting my lifestyle and appreciating that I need to rest more and can’t do everything I want to has helped and means that the things I do and when I do them I can really enjoy it instead of doing things and either bailing half way through to just not doing some stuff at all.
Understanding and being able to listen to my body and know my body is really helping. I can really say I am enjoying myself just now, there are some major stress going on but as I feel I am not in the wrong I’m not going grovelling to make things better as I need to look after me and concentrate on doing whats right for me now rather than to make life easier for others. Stress can make my asthma pretty bad which is why I am deciding to just leave things and not think about it. I can’t put myself through any extra stress as the last few attacks have been utterly terrifying and each one I have less and less reserve to fight off so I want to enjoy life an not have the worry of potential triggers.
Next week coming I am so excited about going to London to the laugh of the Healthcare Hero’s Book called the Passion Project which I have written about before and will get lots of photos and update next weekend with how it goes!!!