Struggling and battling.

Its frustrating just now. The weather keeps changing so my chest keeps changing so from one day to the next I don’t know what I am doing and what I am going to wake up to each day…if I wake up- a lot of the time Im not sleeping much at all so there is a over bearing feeling of exhaustion. I dosing on and off all the time.

I guess looking back over the summer it ha been an amazing summer but I have done a lot and really not give myself much time to rest and just have some down time. I guess I noticed things were not that great as my peak flow has been dropping but not so much dropping in a trend but been all over the place and gradually getting lower. I have been using a lot of salbutamol recently and even started using ipatropium nebs regularly something I haven’t needed to do in a wee while.

The nights recently have been long and hard and i keep getting nose bleeds which is odd as I only have when I have had a lot of nasal oxygen. It struck me yesterday that things have been getting a bit much when I was late for work and also one of my patients asked me if I should be in work as looked awful. It shocked me as since I have come off the ward I thought I had been looking better and not looked unwell. I think the is one of the first times I have been told this again since moving job.

Its hard when other people notice that things are not quite right. I hate having to take time off work and I do my utmost to not. Luckily today is my day off as I would not have been able to go into work. I am putting myself on total rest today and hopefully that will be enough to settle things down and feel better again.

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