Its been a rough few weeks but there is always light at the end of the tunnel and I had 2 lights at the end of this tunnel!!

Asthma has not been great with a cold just going straight to my chest but sorted out with some antibiotics, prednisilone and nebulisers so will be fighting fit in no time.

I realise my last post was a bit down in the dumps and I guess it because I really was at a low point and with getting sick it made it hard to see any positives and everything was just a big effort, but it all changed and I had not one but 2 bits of news which really brightened up my day. Both came in a very short space of time and I was just digesting one and then my email pinged and more exciting news.

It has only been recently that I feel comfortable talking about my asthma and how it effects me on a day to day life, not just physically but also emotionally. The first time I spoke publicly about my asthma I guess and how much it effects me and others with asthma like mine was just over a year ago now at the first Asthma UK Centre for Applied Research scientific meeting. I remember following one of the other PPI leads who spoke fantastically, I was really nervous and was almost finished when I just about broke down crying. It was a fight to keep the tears back but it was when I went on to mention the friends who I have lost due to asthma (I thankfully was not the only one with tears when I finished). It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.  The youtube video is still about I think from that!!! (My bit is at the end!!)

I am a lot more confident about talking now and talking personally as it is through personal stories that people actually get what it is like to live with severe asthma. Speaking to researchers is the only way they can truly understand what its like and where the research needs to be done and what issues need to be addressed urgently.

I am really proud that I have been asked to go down to London to speak with Asthma UK about severe asthma. Slightly nervous but really looking forward to it. It is such a pleasure to speak to people who are prepared to dedicate their live to better someone else through research. Having met researchers I have such admiration for them. They don’t have to do the research but they want to and because they want to it makes me want to help them in anyway I can and if that is sharing my story then I will.

I also had an email from Mon at Education for Health asking me if I would be interested in being involved in helping a pharma company who are looking into severe asthma. This is something totally new for me but I am looking forward to it. It is something I know very little about. I have never been involved in anything pharma related, never been able to do drug trials or anything for asthma (not that I didnt want to), so this opportunity is really exciting. I am sure I will have a blog post once I know more about it!!!

These opportunities only drive me forward in wanting to help those with asthma, and those effected by asthma. It is so misunderstood and I hate reading the newspapers or listening to the news and hearing someone else has died from asthma. It was only yesterday I read that someone else has died after suffering an asthma attack. It gives me goosebumps and shivers knowing that so many people die from asthma yet so many just think an inhaler will fix it!!

There will always be the down days but having all these people wanting to make lives better it will one day change and asthma won’t be so scary.

A lot of what I do I have a special friend in my memory because she was the one who pushed me on to do my nursing when I didnt think I would be able to do it, she was there to ping a message to when I was worried or just needed to get stuff off my chest, she was always there and ready to help others, but often not wanting anything from anyone, she was one of those big hearted people and whenever I question why I am doing what I am wether it is pushing myself to keep working, or keep doing the stuff with the centre I know she would be there telling me to keep going it is only a hiccup!!

Gone but never forgotten


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