As we approach the first anniversary/ birthday of Edinburgh Giants Inclusive Sports Club I think how much has changed for me but also very aware of how close I was to not going.
Before my first taster session with Edinburgh Giants Wheelchair Rugby League I was sitting trying to convince myself to get in my car and drive up to the Pleasance. I was so very close to not going. I don’t tend to do well when I am going to something where I know no one and am trying something totally new even worse when mentally I am not in a good place either. I had to dig so deep and do a lot of self talk to motivate myself to go.
Going to that taster session was the best thing I ever did. It sounds cliche when you say it was life changing but that one evening really was. I was a little skeptical as to how I would manage with my lungs and also didnt think I would be eligible due to my disability often not meeting para sport guidelines but wheelchair rugby league is so different. A truly unique sport where you can have able bodied people along with adaptive athletes all in one team and having no gender restrictions too. It is a sport that is basically open to anyone.
I have just read back the blog post I wrote a year ago after attending the session and see the joy it brought me. You can read it here but I still feel the same way towards Edinburgh Giants as I did then.
There are not enough words or ways that I can express my gratitude to my coach Martyn. The opportunities he has given me have extended beyond Edinburgh Giants but they all happened because of Edinburgh Giants and him. I really was a shell of a person just existing day to day, waiting for the next health episode to hit me or not doing things to try and avoid the possibility of getting unwell. I was rock bottom, I didnt feel like I had any future, no prospects, aims or goals, watching family move on and achieve things, friends falling by the wayside but now that changed. Things are not perfect but life is very different now to a year ago.
I still have my health issues but I have been able to manage them and feel more proactive with management because I have things I want to do and need to be well for. The biggest thing for me is that this sport is a wheelchair sport, this has helped me accept that my leg really is a big hinderance for me and it is ok to accept that I cant do able bodied sport and need supports is not a bad thing and no one looks at me different for it. I had a bit of a complex before that if I did wheelchair sport people might question why when I can walk (albeit with a stick and big adapted AFO thing).
Each day I now wake up with a positive attitude even if I am really sore and exhausted but now this is because I have been doing things rather than wasting my days away. I have purpose, I want to achieve things. I want to get back to work and I am now in a place where I feel that might be possible.
That one evening last year changed so much and I do find it hard to believe just how much but it really has. Sport had always been a passion and not being able to do it was hard, I was at the point of hating it and never wanting to do any sport again because my health has always prevented me but adaptive sport allows me to compete and compete in a manner where I am not putting my health at risk.
Edinburgh Giants has really opened doors and I am sure it will continue to open doors too. I love this club and the people in the club too. We have each others backs and work together to support each other on and off the court. We all understand that we have disabilities and may need more help one day but no one questions it like often happens in the able body world.
Due to attending that Edinburgh Giants wheelchair rugby league taster session I have now
- Learnt a new sport, wheelchair rugby league
- Become Vice Captain for Edinburgh Giants for the last season and this coming season
- Played my first game of wheelchair rugby league
- Earned my first cap for Scotland vs Wales in the Wheelchair Rugby League Celtic Cup
- Part of the Scotland Wheelchair Rugby League Performance Squad
- Become a sponsored athlete thanks to my sports massage therapist Sam at REV Sports Massage
- Been going to the gym regularly and seeing the results with weight loss and muscle gain
- Started playing wheelchair basketball
- Trained with the GB Para Laser Run Squad
- Classified as a wheelchair athlete in Para Laser Run as an LR4 athlete
- Competed in a Para Laser Run Competition and will be competing to try and qualifier for the European Champs
- Have the support of Scottish Pentathlon to compete in Para Laser Run
- Done various online courses and my fitness instructor course
- Focusing on myself and doing all I can to help me be the best possible athlete I can. Working with Ben from Optimise Performance to help with my nutrition
- Have more friends again and become motivated to do things
but the biggest thing that has happened is that I am proud of myself and proud of the effort I have been putting in for this year. I feel for the first time I have really been able to accept that despite having a disability and health issues I can still achieve things and I shouldn’t be scared of trying new things because you never know where they might lead to. Last year I would never have thought that I would have achieved all the above in a year so who knows what the next year will be like.
Reading this post you may think things are all rosy and good but don’t get me wrong it is still very hard. The balance of maintaining my health and being an adaptive athlete is hard. Pacing is hard work and listening to my body in a different way has taken some getting used to but I feel more at peace with myself when I need to rest as I have a reason for resting where before I was resting and frustrated because I had not done anything in my eyes to need a rest but now things are different. I also think having a positive mental attitude now helps with my severe asthma and other conditions. Exercising in a safe way helps my lungs, expands them and gets them moving which prevents infections settling into the bases and strengthens them in a controlled way because the sport is indoor so the exposure to external triggers is minimised. Being more active has had consequences for my leg, where doing more has helped my lungs this has not been the same for my leg. My leg is getting worse, the muscle mass has decreased so much, I am getting spasms and contortions most nights needing medication and then my AFO is now reinforced and much stronger to take the weight of my leg when it cant support itself.
I cant thank Martyn enough. He has been the catalyst for the change in my life and it is immeasurable. This year promises to be an exciting time with Edinburgh Giants with some huge opportunities coming for us.
Thank you Coach!
ANONYMOUS-ASTHMA 