Conversation with my 13 yr old self

This song came one my ipod today. I dont listen to a huge amount of music. Mainly when I am feeling chesty and having a day of staying in bed and not doing much. Pain is an issue today. I coughed a huge amount yesterday so easy day of doing not much today and that way I will be able to go to the Ladies Social at the Golf club tonight!!!

But anyway back to the title. I paused the song near the end and thought what would I say to my 13 year old self. (15yrs ago)

15 years ago I was 13

15 years ago I had asthma

15 years ago I was at boarding school

15 years ago I was in the Ski, cross country, athletics, hockey, lacrosse, tennis, golf teams.

15 years ago I started to think about my future

15 years ago I had to choose GCSE’s

15 years ago I didnt have much responsibility

15 years ago I had control

15 years ago I could eat what I want

15 years ago I wanted to be a PE teacher or even better a sports star.

15 years ago I lived with my parents

15 years on how so much has changed!! 15 years is not a long time but if I could go back to that time I would live it just as I did with one exception….. I wouldn’t take for granted the freedom and ability I had. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted and not have a worry about the consequences (other than the fact I was at boarding school and had rules to abide by) but now although I have the freedom of living my own life that freedom is restricted by the limitations my body has put upon itself. I cant go for a run when I want.

The planning to go for a run some thing I often did as a 13 yr old. Then I would slip my runners on and some shorts and off I went. Now- I have to check the forecast, pollen count, pollution, check my peak flow, see when my last steroid reduction was or is due, I need to have a neb before I go, make sure I have enough time to recover after to be able to work or take part in social activites. I also need to make sure I let people know where I am going what route I am taking just in case something should happen and am not able to contact anyone. This takes the spontaniety out of running, I cant just up sticks and off I go. Everything needs to be planned.

I took for granted when I was younger that I could just take off and say I would be back in a hour and if I was a bit late family knew it was because I had detoured on my run. Now they would have a search party out incase I had had an attack and was in difficulty.

So my 13 year old self would live their life as they have done but appreciate every moment as if it was the last time that moment would happen.

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