Pride month has come and gone now and I really didnt get involved in anything this year. Maybe next year. I didnt realise that the month of July focuses on Disability Pride, raising the awareness around various types of disability which can be seen in the flag.
The disability pride flag like with many other flags has meaning behind each part of it and why images are as they are and the colours used etc. To read more about the flag you can hear .
Disability is a term I have often hated however more recently as I have been able to accept how unwell I have been and how much my conditions impact my every day living I have changed the way I feel towards the word disability. I am almost proud of what I have been able to do despite my disability which is why I don’t have the same anger I once did.
I don’t have the anger towards disability but I do have many frustrations about the understanding that the public have surrounding disability. Until I developed the nerve damage in my leg my disability was mainly invisible unless I was in hospital an attached to oxygen, nebuliser or IV. No one would know there was anything wrong with me because I looked “normal”. There were many times when I would wish people could see what was going on inside my body and lungs.
- Parking in a disabled parking space with a blue badge on display would be problematic. So often I would get looks or people would check there if there was a badge on display, some would even go as far as to question if I was actually disabled and if the blue badge was mine.
- Using a disabled seat on a bus or train is never easy. If you ask someone if you can use one you will get told that you are not disabled or if you are sitting on one you will get dirty looks or told to move and give your seat up for someone who is actually disabled.
- Asking for help with something especially when you look young, you can get some awful responses or just ignored.
- Using a disabled toilet is a big one too. I would often use it because in normal toilets people will spray scents etc which can irritate my lungs.
All of these points above are now no longer such an issue as my disability is much more visible because I have a big AFO on all the time and walk with a stick most of the time. These outward signs seem to signal to the public that I am disabled when actually if I didnt have the lung issues I would not be using a blue badge or disabled seating but because the public can see there is something wrong even quite mild then to them it is ok for me to be using disabled parking etc which is so frustrating because why do I need to look disabled to be allowed to use.
For me my invisible disability impacts my life far more than what the visible does. I don’t actually see my leg stuff as a disability because with the aids I can get about and do what I need to it is my lungs that cause me the biggest issue. It is sometimes a wish I have is that people could see just what is going on in my lungs to be able to function but until we develop X-ray vision i doubt that will ever happen. So until then we just need to make people aware that not all disabilities can be seen.
Before COVID the sunflower lanyard was an excellent tool to use to identify if you had an invisible disability particularly when you travelled and in airports however since COVID the value of the lanyard has slipped. During COVID people would wear the lanyard as a sign that there were mask exempt (or want to be mask exempt) and I have found now that people still think the lanyard is for mask exemption not for invisible disabilities. I don’t actually use mine now because so many people are using them, I am scared that if I was to wear it and ask for help I might be compared to others who have worn them and who may have been able to do what I was needing help with. I prefer to just not have the lanyard and ask for help and explain why I need help than for someone to jump to a conclusion because of a lanyard that anyone can get. (I am aware that not everyone will feel the same about the sunflower lanyard this is just my feelings).
I believe the only way to change public perception of invisible disabilities is to speak about them and for people to have them open up and show just what life is like. We should not have to do this but I do not see another way to change peoples way of thinking.
I am excited tomorrow as I will be speaking on BBC Radio Scotland about invisible disabilities.
ANONYMOUS-ASTHMA 